It’s been knocking at my door, this mid-life thing.

I turned 43 recently, and in so many ways, I am ecstatic.

  • I can properly call myself an adult, even though most of the time I am still looking for the adult in the room.
  • I am a legitimate mother of two amazing teenagers.
  • I am in a safe and loving marriage.
  • I have healthy parents and brother who are living full, exciting lives.
  • I love what I chose to and capable of doing in my profession.

I have so much gratitude at mid-life.

Seriously, I have nothing to complain about!

Except that my body is changing and showing signs of a woman experiencing mid-life. Slowly, but surely, I am being challenged by these classic symptoms (not inclusive):

  • Sleep disturbance
  • Night Sweats
  • Water retention
  • Hair loss
  • Food cravings
  • Fatigue
  • Unpredictable periods

Even though I realize that these are normal and to be expected (and tolerated), I am not ready to settle.

I am curious to see if there are things I am doing that exacerbate the process and symptoms.


This morning, drenched in sweat when I awoke, I stumbled downstairs to have my only cup of coffee of the day (strong, black, delicious).

I have to tell you that this might be one of my favorite parts of the day: early morning, quiet, me-time with coffee.

I love the smell, the ritual, the way it tastes and feels in my mouth.

Within minutes of drinking coffee, my head started buzzing, and I began to experience that false energy that caffeine provides.

I felt “ready” for the day.

Still nursing my coffee, I scrolled down my Instagram account quickly before getting ready for my 5am exercise class.

While doing so, I took off my rings that were tight on my puffy finger (water retention); my joints felt stiff (inflammation?). All the while, my clothes are still wet from the night sweat from my slumber.

I stopped at an instagram quote that said:

“What you resist the most, you need the most.”


I looked at my cup of coffee that I had been reluctant to give up despite what I know about its impact on hormones.

“What you resist the most, you need the most.” 

I have resisted giving up my cup of coffee for a long time. I have come up with many excuses of why it’s still okay for me to drink that one cup. I have felt sad ahead of time thinking about not having that coffee.

“What you resist the most, you need the most.”

And in that moment, I made the decision: No more caffeine. 

It’s just a start, I know.

There will be other resistants that I will challenge. But for now, it’s caffeine: coffee, chocolate, caffeinated teas. No sodas for me already, so that’s not hard.



Let’s see where this will take me, my mid-life body, and my resistant mind.

I am sharing this journey and this project here because I know that I do best with outer accountability. I also know that there are some of you out there who are in the same place, resisting something that might benefit you the most. 

Here’s to exploring what might be super uncomfortable!

It’s a good thing I like herbal tea. 🙂