It was a life-changing moment after I took the personality quiz created by Gretchen Rubin.
For so long, I knew that I showed up so much better and more consistently if I had to show up for other people.I am more successful in a classroom or group situations; I show up on time to appointments and meetings; I work hard to ‘be there’ for others.
When it comes to showing up just for me, it was 50/50, or more like 80/20, which always frustrated me. Why can I not do what I want to do for myself? Why can I do it for others?
There are, of course, many reasons for this.
I was glad to have found one of the reasons, through Gretchen Rubin’s work: Better than Before.
According to Gretchen, there are four personality types when it comes to expectations: Upholders, Obligers, Questioners, and Rebels. (She’s actually coming out with a brand new book all about these tendencies.)
Most people fall in to the Obliger category : I am one of them.
An Obliger’s tendency is to meet outer expectations: other people’s expectation of you. We are more likely to show up for others, and we have a hard time meeting inner expectations. Bingo!
Having this knowledge, I now plan and strategize my life in a much more productive way.
If I have a goal to achieve or succeed in something (from exercising, to eating well, to daily mindful practices), I now seek outer accountability for better success.
For instance, I am now working with coaches to help with personal and professional goals. I work out with a trainer to help me get stronger. I sign up for a class when I want to learn about something new. I announce to friends and family (and the world), and get them involved, if I am doing some kind of challenge (oh, hello, Clean Eating Reset & Sweet Charity Sugar Challenge). I even have an accountability partner! It all works so much better because I know my tendency!
Doing it this way keeps me accountable and helps me succeed. I show up. I achieve my goals. It’s that simple!
What about you? Take the quiz and find out – it may change the way you go about life in the most positive ways!